A Friend Of Mine

[Janeway]

I have a really close friend named Tiffany and sometimes she bugs me when it comes to her beliefs about bisexuality. It's the stereotypical thing of course where she doesn't believe its real and that people use it as in excuse to not say there gay. She feels your either straight or gay and that theres no in between. She also feels that anyone who is attracted to both sexes likes to jump from gender to gender and she thinks thats how most of the sexually transmitted diseases are spread.

It's really disappointing cause I don't know what I am. I am attracted to both sexes but sometimes I don't feel that I'm really bisexual and its sad because I can't really talk to her about this issue. I would talk to my other friends about this but most of them really wouldn't care about what I have to say and try to change the subject. Do you guys have any advice on how I can talk to my friend about my sexuality and try to make her understand that bisexuality is real? Also, has anybody here experienced something similar to me?


I should also mention that Tiffany is one of those people who likes to talk way to much and you wouild be the person who basically just sits there and says "un huh, yeah, oh, or ok" So I would only be able to talk to her about this whenever she brings it up.

[Nymphaea]

I really don't have any advice for you about Tiffany...I'm sorry.

But that really pisses me off too..."gay straight or lying"...um...no...I like guys too much to be gay and girls too much to be straight. Sorry to disappoint.

And STD's don't get spread from switching genders, they get spread from switching PARTNERS, regardless of gender, without taking proper precautions. (Lots of partners isn't a problem per se. It increases the risk, but if you are careful and take precautions (have partners get tested, use condoms, get yourself tested) the risks are greatly reduced.)

Hmm...maybe you could start there. Get her information on how and why STD's are spread.

Then again even the federal govt. (Some people blame the Red Cross for this but they can't...it's not their fault it's federal regulations) think that homosexuality is a health risk. If you're male and you've EVER had homosexual sex you're barred from donating blood for LIFE. Whereas if you've only shot heroin with a shared needle you're only banned for...two years I think. *HEAD MEETS WALL HARD*

[Janeway]

Nov 1, 2009 18:20:21 GMT Nymphaea said:

I really don't have any advice for you about Tiffany...I'm sorry.

But that really pisses me off too..."gay straight or lying"...um...no...I like guys too much to be gay and girls too much to be straight. Sorry to disappoint.

And STD's don't get spread from switching genders, they get spread from switching PARTNERS, regardless of gender, without taking proper precautions. (Lots of partners isn't a problem per se. It increases the risk, but if you are careful and take precautions (have partners get tested, use condoms, get yourself tested) the risks are greatly reduced.)

Hmm...maybe you could start there. Get her information on how and why STD's are spread.

Then again even the federal govt. (Some people blame the Red Cross for this but they can't...it's not their fault it's federal regulations) think that homosexuality is a health risk. If you're male and you've EVER had homosexual sex you're barred from donating blood for LIFE. Whereas if you've only shot heroin with a shared needle you're only banned for...two years I think. *HEAD MEETS WALL HARD*

I'm very frustrated to about this so I'm sure we feel exactly the same way lol. I think showing her information about how STD's are spread is a good way to start. Just getting her to really listen is gonna be the hard part lol. Thanks though. ;D

[joshywa]

Jane, it seems like quite an impossible task, and in this instance, i think your best bet would be to not talk to tiffany at all! doesn't seem like the most active listener! But i completely understand what its like to want to talk to a friend who acts like an emotional brickwall. It can really hurt sometimes. Imagine if you were attracted to Tiffany, that would definitely complicate the situation greatly!

Honestly, there is only so much that you can do to get through to a person like that. Perhaps you should make it clear to her that you need to seriously discuss something with her, and that you need her to just listen. I find that often times, when people who don't listen are being themselves, the best way to break through that social barrier they call discussion is a nice little ultimatum. You have to break their focus and gain their attention.

[theends]

You mind me asking how old she is? Cuz someone with ideas as black and white as that is obviously chronologically or cranially challenged.

I know she's your friend and junk, but you CAN choose better friends. At least friends who complement your life...
Love x

[kc]

Hi, I can understand your frustration - i have a friend who is of similar mind. There is not a great deal of hope in changing their mind, but the only thing i can suggest is next time it comes up (perhaps with a little help from you) to say quite clearly that she is being insensitive and misguided.
It's hard dealing with people like that who only see things in black and white. I hope you find a way to make her understand.
And if talking to her doesn't work, show her this site, that should convince her that you're not imagining it and bisexuals do exist

[acidphreak]

Look, ever since I was eight, I knew I was bisexual. But a label is a label. I don't understand why some people get so upset about it. But I admit, the one more thing I also can't stand is when people say that there's no such thing as bisexuality. A person can like guys and girls.