Why do I feel this way?

[digitalghost]

So I'm out to my family and stuff. And they're okay with it. But at school it seems so awkward. Like if a teacher wanted a show of hands of who's gay. I wouldn't raise my hand. I'm not ashamed, it's just I only want certain/really close people to know. Not random kids i don't even talk to. I don't wanna announce it or anything. Like "hey I'm gay!" some people do that. i know one person that, every time someone says "gay" she goes "i am!" Am i ashamed? cuz i don't wanna be. i'm also afraid of people who aren't fond of gays and what they would think. I know you're not supposed to care what other people think but, gosh man! high school's tough.

oh and how many people have to know you're gay so you're "out of the closet" what does that even mean?

[amoeba]

It's okay that you're quiet about your sexuality. Just because you don't flaunt it, doesn't mean you're ashamed, actually, it's a sign that you are comfortable with yourself. Many people who flaunt, whatever they may flaunt (Money, their body, their sexuality) often strike me as the kind of people who feel the need to be in the spotlight to gain attention and seek the constant approval (or even disapproval) of others. It is a huge character flaw.

On that note, don't fear what other people think of you. The ones who matter will stand by you no matter what. Those who respond negatively likely aren't people you should give a darn what they think of you, because they're the ones who'll have the hardest time dealing with life. They will constantly be coming in contact with regular people who they see, through skewed perception, to be flawed.

High school, as horrible as this is, is exactly like anything else in life involving other people. In life there will always be adversity, always be jerks with skewed perception, always be uncomfortable situations. Learning to deal with it in highschool is vital because in the "real world" it's 100 times harder to deal with.

Usually "out of the closet" means somebody other than you (but also yourself) knows you're gay/bi/trans/whatever. Anyone who knows makes you automatically "out" to that person. If somebody asks "are you out (of the closet)?" You can rightly answer, "yes, but only with friends and family."