Is it a good idea to come out...

[digitalghost]

at school to your friends or at home to your family?

I was thinking at school would be more accepting, but I don't feel good about it because I'm not out at home. It feels weird. And my mom is highly emotional and Super Christian and my brother[not Christian,thank God] has anger/controlling problems. I wanted to come out to him first cuz he's actually open minded and would still love me, but he has serious issues. AND I'm also in love with this girl who's Christian and no one knows about it. So please help. I know, lots of things going on. I just don't know what to do first. Cuz these decisions are so life-altering. I'm 15 if that helps any. Is it ever too early to come out?

[amoeba]

When to come out is a very personal matter, you have to be mentally prepared. If you aren't and you're kind of "pushing yourself" into it it could have negative impacts. If you know yourself that's the first step. I came out for the first time to friends at 16, a very coincidental conversation came up and the halls were clear, so I just kind of slipped it in sideways. I'm still not out at home, I'm 19 now and, though I know my mom will just kind of take it in stride, I'm her only child, so it's a big deal.

In your situation coming out to your brother first seems like the best idea. If you're worried about his initial response you could write him a letter and give it to him, asking if he would please open it alone in a quiet place, that way he'll have time to calm down between finding out and seeing you.

[mystogirl23]

Sweety I know how you feel. I still haven't come out to my family, I'm 23 now. I was in the same boat as you at 15. I did come out to my friends first. They were surprisingly very accepting. Which made me feel good and to this day I love them dearly and I can be myself around them. I once let it slip to my sister that I was into women, and she freaked out. I had to convince her that I was just joking, messing with her to keep her from going to my mother about it. Not a good moment, I think that little stunt caused me to step back from my progress instead of forward. My mother is a christian fanatic too. When she found out I had sex before marriage she kicked me out of the house, O.o but, kiddo I know its a hard decision, right now, I'm doing okay, I don't have a girl in my life right at this moment so I don't feel the need, but someday in the future I think for the sake of a relationship it will be good to come out. However you feel you ready, babysteps is a good way to start, come out to the ppl you trust the most then, progress from there, and don't worry so much, you'll have ppl to catch you. Look at the silver lining, it might not be that bad, it might not be good too, but at least you wont have to hide anymore ^_^ just stay strong

[digitalghost]

I came out. But not in the way I planned. I wanted to do it when I was an adult but it just sort of happened. It's a long story but when I came out it was to both of them at the same time. My mom and bro were shocked but didn't get angry, for the most part they were sad to see that I'd been crying. Before I came out I cried for hours in the bathroom because of a conversation I had with my mom the night before. She said some mean things about gays and I got really sad. But fast forward to now, I guess it's okay. It'll take time to getting used to for them. We didn't discuss anything gay after that day. My mom said she loves me no matter what. She said she'll pray for me. She hopes I'm bisexual. My bro says that I'm young and that you think you know what you are but you don't, it'll take time to be sure. So either i'm les or bi, so i'll just have to wait. But in my mind I like girls all the way.

I think the crazy part of coming out is the day after. I woke the morning after thinking it was a dream.

I wonder what will happen if i get a girlfriend.

i got another question. is it my family's business if i come out to my friends? do ask for confirmation or something?

[tawnypaleface]

I'm glad that you came out to your family and they were nice to you. I don't exactly think that confirming to your family that you came out to your friends is like MAJORLY important...I wouldn't know haha, I'm not really...discussive with some of my family.

I never exactly came out... I'm a pansexual. I just like everybody. I express my sexuality and I suppose that people just know. ^__^' I do know that my Dad and my Brother aren't with the whole gay thing because they're just matcho rednecks who are narrow-minded and sometimes I think just dumb.

You are never too young. I don't believe in phases when it comes to sexuality. I believe in confusion, but that is completely a different thing! I realized I was pansexual or bisexual (whichever term fits your fancy) before I knew what it even was! I thought liking boys AND girls was normal! And it IS!!! I kissed my first girl when I was ten! My hormones hadn't even kicked in then! XDD

You are the one who knows yourself best!
Love ya!
[glow=red,2,300]Tawny[/glow]

[digitalghost]

Thanks to all of you guys! It was a really rough start, but now I feel great. My mom loves me. and my brother's still a douche.