Post by belladex on Dec 22, 2012 14:15:09 GMT
I was with my girlfriend for 5 years and we broke up in august. I was close with the family and a lot of them reached out to me after it upset it was ending n letting me know that they still considered me family. My gf made it very clear that she did not want me to have any contact with any of her family especially her sister. I reached out to her sister and sent her a text tellin her id miss her and that iwouldnt be around anymore. She told me that it wasn't the case n asked me to meet her. I met her and she had no idea what had been going on because my ex hadn't reached out to her at all n confided in her. I explained that she had been sexting an old guy friend of theirs n she got caught. And that I finally felt free. That I loved her for too long and hard and was ignored and as she put it bacame her "bit.." she confided in me about how she isn't close with her sis n fam any more because she can never do right and she can never make them happy( which I watched for 5 years) she keeps it good for her two children. After we connected that night we slowly started to become closer. She has a man who is on the road all week. They are not married and she basically has raised his 2 daughters the past years because the mother didn't want to either. They are both in their late teens now. Anyways, a joke started after getting back to her place after going out. Her mans yougest daughter was up with us shes now 18 and we were all laughing joking n she blurted out in a serious way 'you two should just date'... I then became her fake gf. It was a joke we carried on for a lil while playing wit flirting sending playful texts back n forth but ntohing too serious. We were with eachother a lot excecpt on weekends when her man was home from being on the road. Id go to her place watch movies w her n her kids n just hang.. and on other nights we would go out w friends n drink. We always were having fun bein playful n just enjoy eachother. One night she wanted me to come out and her man was home n out too. I met them and it was the most akward n tensions were high between the 3 of us. He made a comment to me that if she ever decided to start a lesbian affair he would be done. I think that's about the only thing he said to me that night. He watcched as she sat down next to me leaning into me putting head on my shoulder n close to me. I felt uncomfortable but I didn't stop her. after that night her relationship wit her man became more fiights n anger and her excpecting more out of him on a deeper level. I know this because she confided in me about it more than a couple times n I've been the one who is honest with her and also picks her up telling her she's worth it and deserves to be loved...
We continued to go out with eachother n be eachothers confidants. The tension between us kept growing. Flirting. Eye contact. Connecting on so many levels n trusting eachother. She's made comments about the only thing in her life being permanent is her kids. He was pressuring her to marry him because they've been engaged for 2 years now and she said she didn't know that she wanted to get married again. I told her in ur heart you'll kno when its right n she just looked at me n couldn't say anything... we had a conversation on the ride home one night she was pressing me for information about me and another girl I am friends with n if we've had sex. N thru out the whole if I'm your best friend you should be able to tell me these things... I told her the truth that we had fooled around abit but I couldn't have sex w her... then the conversation got deeper and she asked why it was weird or why I thought it was weird for us to talk about it. I told her pretty much flat out that she was someone id go for n date. She then admited that she thought I was adorable n I'm someone who she can talk to bout anything n make her laugh but our circumstances suck pretty much. And they do. I'm not blind to it. It pretty much was made known we have a connection and are attracted to eachother... after that we still remained close until the end of september when a bar posted a pic of us on fb and her whole fam and sister saw it. After that we slowed down. She was being attacked by her family and sister. They even pimped her kids when they were over for a weekend about me being there to get information. That's when the mess started. She pulled away. We still hung out when we could. But in october I made a huge mistake and allowed her sis back in. I was completely honest with her about it right away. It was after that things went a bit further between us. Going out together one of the last times it was different. She was so into me touching me flirting with me even pulling me out to the dance floor n coming close to kissing. That night the conversation became serious . She was crying n upset about her family and we were discussing n she said to me why do u think I've fought for you!? She was frustrated n I was thrown off n said I didn't know why me ? She more frustratingly said I don't know either and then continued to cry and say she didn't have it in her to fight for me n her family... after that she pulled away from me. We've gone out once or twice. I check in with her to see how she's doing. I sliipped up and got sucked in by her sis not fully but enough around thanksgiving. I have ended it now because I can't be with her n do this all over again it will fail n my hearts not in it. Shes brought up how she always noticed how we had a connection wit eachother all while we were dating but she just didn't wanna see it because it was me and her sister... I was 100 percent with my ex when we were together tho I was commited to her whether or not she saw a connection. after thanksgiving me and her sister had a conversation about her and her man.. we had all gone out the night before it was pretty much the first time all of us had been around eachother together. We all were all over the place not connected cuz I don't think anyof us knew who to be with. Her man was out too n treated her like shit. We talked later about it n she asked why I cared n I told her cuz I don't like to see her hurting... she then said she didn't know what to do because she misses the man he was and she's come to apoint that she wants more out of life. That she either needed to get rid of the bad or make it work I told her I wasn't giving up n she asked on what? I told her you... we went out one last time a few weeks ago after that conversation. It was set up like a date just the two of us we talked n laughed n made it easy for eachother to be comfortable even tho akward at first... we were watching people in the bar and making up their stories n a set of people she said were porn actors lol we continued to make jokes n she said we could make a porn n put her head down n shyed away... it was noisy n I didn't kno what to say cuz she said it jokingly. Then a lil later all hell broke loose n her sis started calling n texin both of us going crazy. We left seperately and she pulled away yet again. I found out that her and her man are moving their fam about 20 mins outside of town. I tex her after I found out n asked if it was true. She told me it was and that her man just isn't happy where they are at. The place they are moving is a duplex across from his best friend who they are also in motorcycle club together with... she had talked about it before n was unsure she wanted to. Now they are.
We connected just a day or so ago texting n she was standoffish at first but after I got her to laugh with our inside jokes and told her that I was still me she let me in a lil...
I feel like I'm in love with this girl as wrong as it is and as bad as the circumstances are. We have been through a lot together not just in these past few months but in the five years we've known each other. Should I just let it n her go? Do u think she feels it too?
We continued to go out with eachother n be eachothers confidants. The tension between us kept growing. Flirting. Eye contact. Connecting on so many levels n trusting eachother. She's made comments about the only thing in her life being permanent is her kids. He was pressuring her to marry him because they've been engaged for 2 years now and she said she didn't know that she wanted to get married again. I told her in ur heart you'll kno when its right n she just looked at me n couldn't say anything... we had a conversation on the ride home one night she was pressing me for information about me and another girl I am friends with n if we've had sex. N thru out the whole if I'm your best friend you should be able to tell me these things... I told her the truth that we had fooled around abit but I couldn't have sex w her... then the conversation got deeper and she asked why it was weird or why I thought it was weird for us to talk about it. I told her pretty much flat out that she was someone id go for n date. She then admited that she thought I was adorable n I'm someone who she can talk to bout anything n make her laugh but our circumstances suck pretty much. And they do. I'm not blind to it. It pretty much was made known we have a connection and are attracted to eachother... after that we still remained close until the end of september when a bar posted a pic of us on fb and her whole fam and sister saw it. After that we slowed down. She was being attacked by her family and sister. They even pimped her kids when they were over for a weekend about me being there to get information. That's when the mess started. She pulled away. We still hung out when we could. But in october I made a huge mistake and allowed her sis back in. I was completely honest with her about it right away. It was after that things went a bit further between us. Going out together one of the last times it was different. She was so into me touching me flirting with me even pulling me out to the dance floor n coming close to kissing. That night the conversation became serious . She was crying n upset about her family and we were discussing n she said to me why do u think I've fought for you!? She was frustrated n I was thrown off n said I didn't know why me ? She more frustratingly said I don't know either and then continued to cry and say she didn't have it in her to fight for me n her family... after that she pulled away from me. We've gone out once or twice. I check in with her to see how she's doing. I sliipped up and got sucked in by her sis not fully but enough around thanksgiving. I have ended it now because I can't be with her n do this all over again it will fail n my hearts not in it. Shes brought up how she always noticed how we had a connection wit eachother all while we were dating but she just didn't wanna see it because it was me and her sister... I was 100 percent with my ex when we were together tho I was commited to her whether or not she saw a connection. after thanksgiving me and her sister had a conversation about her and her man.. we had all gone out the night before it was pretty much the first time all of us had been around eachother together. We all were all over the place not connected cuz I don't think anyof us knew who to be with. Her man was out too n treated her like shit. We talked later about it n she asked why I cared n I told her cuz I don't like to see her hurting... she then said she didn't know what to do because she misses the man he was and she's come to apoint that she wants more out of life. That she either needed to get rid of the bad or make it work I told her I wasn't giving up n she asked on what? I told her you... we went out one last time a few weeks ago after that conversation. It was set up like a date just the two of us we talked n laughed n made it easy for eachother to be comfortable even tho akward at first... we were watching people in the bar and making up their stories n a set of people she said were porn actors lol we continued to make jokes n she said we could make a porn n put her head down n shyed away... it was noisy n I didn't kno what to say cuz she said it jokingly. Then a lil later all hell broke loose n her sis started calling n texin both of us going crazy. We left seperately and she pulled away yet again. I found out that her and her man are moving their fam about 20 mins outside of town. I tex her after I found out n asked if it was true. She told me it was and that her man just isn't happy where they are at. The place they are moving is a duplex across from his best friend who they are also in motorcycle club together with... she had talked about it before n was unsure she wanted to. Now they are.
We connected just a day or so ago texting n she was standoffish at first but after I got her to laugh with our inside jokes and told her that I was still me she let me in a lil...
I feel like I'm in love with this girl as wrong as it is and as bad as the circumstances are. We have been through a lot together not just in these past few months but in the five years we've known each other. Should I just let it n her go? Do u think she feels it too?