Post by lark4run on Mar 30, 2012 3:01:19 GMT
I come from a Catholic religion and was put in the Catholic school system. No not the one where nuns run around and beat u with rulers, a laid back one that teaches about acceptance, respect and that ya you should go to church once and awhile. I suppose it was during high school that I started noticing that I wasn’t really attracted to the “male species”. I didn’t really think much about it because I’m not really an outspoken person I keep to myself and I just wanted to focus on my studies. Not being as fast as my peers, I suppose, I had one friend admit that they were gay and another admitted she was bi. I have a very accepting personality I don’t know y it’s just how I am, so when they told me I wasn’t fazed one bit.
In the past year though I’ve been noticing things about my relationship with my best friend but have been holding back because I know that they are straight and have a boyfriend. The thing is though that just recently she’s admitted that she thinks she might be bi. At first you might think that hey my first thought is that hey I might have a chance but no its not. I believe that if you are ever to engage into a relationship that it cannot be just for their looks or for some personal gain that you should wholeheartedly love them and accept them for who they are deep down. A few weeks later she then goes and tells me that she thinks she likes me. Is it wrong for me to want more than just I think? I’m also thinking was I projecting my feeling for her how will I ever even know.
What also bothers me about her confession is that it wasn’t to my face it was over the internet. I know why she did it the way she did because she was afraid of my reaction but I feel like she should have known that it wouldn’t have bothered me. Yes I know that if I had just admitted my feeling first then when she came to her confession it wouldn’t be this “stressful”. I can’t start thinking about the “what if” situations because I’ll make my brain explode. When I saw her next she still didn’t say anything though but in her defense neither did I on the subject and we just went through our normal routine.
I don’t know what the definition of love is but the way that I feel about her is that she changed me for the better. I’ve been happier since we started our friendship I laugh more and feel like I let people in more. When I think about her it makes me smile and I’m smiling while writing this. I enjoy how whenever we meet we always hug as a greeting. We hang out pretty much every week and just sit around doing nothing, watching tv, playing videogames, stuff we enjoy. We can sit for hours and not really do anything and there can be silence and it’s not uncomfortable silence it’s just us being together.
I want to give her a chance but I’m scared of the “I think” statement. What if she changes her mind? I don’t know y I wrote this maybe I want some push that yes u should give it a go but I guess really its ultimately up to me,time will tell I suppose.
Comment?
In the past year though I’ve been noticing things about my relationship with my best friend but have been holding back because I know that they are straight and have a boyfriend. The thing is though that just recently she’s admitted that she thinks she might be bi. At first you might think that hey my first thought is that hey I might have a chance but no its not. I believe that if you are ever to engage into a relationship that it cannot be just for their looks or for some personal gain that you should wholeheartedly love them and accept them for who they are deep down. A few weeks later she then goes and tells me that she thinks she likes me. Is it wrong for me to want more than just I think? I’m also thinking was I projecting my feeling for her how will I ever even know.
What also bothers me about her confession is that it wasn’t to my face it was over the internet. I know why she did it the way she did because she was afraid of my reaction but I feel like she should have known that it wouldn’t have bothered me. Yes I know that if I had just admitted my feeling first then when she came to her confession it wouldn’t be this “stressful”. I can’t start thinking about the “what if” situations because I’ll make my brain explode. When I saw her next she still didn’t say anything though but in her defense neither did I on the subject and we just went through our normal routine.
I don’t know what the definition of love is but the way that I feel about her is that she changed me for the better. I’ve been happier since we started our friendship I laugh more and feel like I let people in more. When I think about her it makes me smile and I’m smiling while writing this. I enjoy how whenever we meet we always hug as a greeting. We hang out pretty much every week and just sit around doing nothing, watching tv, playing videogames, stuff we enjoy. We can sit for hours and not really do anything and there can be silence and it’s not uncomfortable silence it’s just us being together.
I want to give her a chance but I’m scared of the “I think” statement. What if she changes her mind? I don’t know y I wrote this maybe I want some push that yes u should give it a go but I guess really its ultimately up to me,time will tell I suppose.
Comment?