What Am I?

[jellybaby]

Hi there!

I am a mid-twenties natural female, and while I have a woman's body, I feel like a gay man. I realise that this might sound absurd to some people, but it's true. I feel like a man, not a woman.
However, I am not completely uncomfortable with my body. I am fairly happy with it, actually.
I don't know if this means that I am transexual, transgendered, or what.

I have always been strongly attracted to gay men. I know that some girls feel the same way, but want to 'change' them, make them straight. Which, I can't say I understand. That is not my goal.

I am trying to accept myself in this aspect, but it's been a strange and difficult road.

I have finally allowed myself to have very short hair, and dress the way that I feel more comfortable. Which is more masculine, most of the time. I wouldn't really describe myself as feminine or masculine. I'm a mash of the two, when it comes down to it.

When I was a kid, I always felt like a little boy, and dressed the part. I had my hair very short most of the time, and always got along with the boys. Not the girls so much. I've never really hit it off with other females.

I am hoping that someone will be able to understand where I'm coming from, and be able to just talk with me. Because, I don't have anyone that I can discuss this with.

[wildcharlie51]

You know I really have a time with being sort of in the middle also but I'm more male than female so I go for the Male side of the coin. And that's too bad that we have to have some kind of bi-gendered perseption in America, especially in America, that this is the way things are. Two sexes period. What kind of a horrible concept is that? Wouldn't it be more realistic to have a poly-gendered perception? Where most people in reality, and they are, more both than one? I would safely say that most females do not know that it's testosterone in even their systems that make up their sex drives. Testosterone is what makes up any sex drive what so ever. It's certainly is not estrogen. So right there you're not one or the other. When I went through transition, female to male, I found out how short the distance is from female to male. We're not very far aoart at all. Males, females, it's all in how the hormones are balanced, Not something that comes from have one genital configuartion than another. Ask anyone that is trans and they will probably tell you the same things if they are honest with themselves. It's not that far of a jump. So yes I can understand where you are coming from. But I know it's hard when you have something inside that you think no one will understand but yourself. But believe me there is a whole wide world out there and those places are not all the same. Thailand for example has accepted, as many of the asian coundtries have, that being trans is just another condition of humanity. Like it or not.